Thursday, December 30, 2010

Free therapy!!

Okay, let's face it! every woman gets down sometime in her life... Or Month..(Maybe week) and is in desperate need of a break.. a chance to get away. and do something to make her feel better about herself.. (Or, I hope everyone every woman needs that, because I do!)
So, I've come up with some SIMPLE, easy free therapy ideas, that you ladies can do for yourselves, to make things easier to handle, to de-stress.. And guys (especially if you're married) don't stop reading yet.. these are things, that would be even greater, if your wife didn't have to do for herself! knowing that someone cares is JUST as helpful as anything I or anyone else could suggest...

Morning tea...
Every morning, before you get the kids up.. make yourself a pot of your favorite tea, or coffee.. and just sit there, on your porch, in cars go by, smell the flowers, listen to the birds singing..just sit there, don't say a thing.. But if you do have to say something.. Pray! talk to Jesus for a little bit.. tell him what you've been going through.

scented candles...
Because who doesn't like things that smell nice?.. and mom's don't worry about your children getting burnt, or hurt..they make these amazing things now, I don't remember what they're called. But they don't have a it's impossible to get burned..
Anyway.. even something as simple as your house smelling nice, can make you happier.
Yes, I know the candles without wicks are a bit more expensive, but when you think about it, sanity is priceless..

I know, they sound scary..but spending time on yourself, in front of a mirror, buying new lipstick.. playing with your looks, can actually be fun..and depending on who you're doing it for.. changes when you do it. If you want to look great, for your husband or yourself. Do it on a night when you'll just be at your house. If you want to get nice compliments from friends, that will make you feel better, you could do it before a night at church, or a friends house, playdate..

Call an old friend/ write a letter...
It's always good to get your mind off yourself (yes, even when you're going through tough times) and everyone has friends that need a word of encouragement, a random phone-call or a check-up.. and it means even more, when it comes in the mail.. next time you go to town, pick up a card that says something like "Thinking of you"... write a few sweet words.. don't mention yourself, unless they ask.. keep the focus on others.

snuggle with your kids...
set aside 5 minutes, during a commercial break..or something like that. To snuggle with your children, your husband.. ..whoever.. it will make you feel loved. And who doesn't need that?

find some new recipes online, try them out! it's always fun! and once you offer to share the baked goods with friends/family...everyone wants to be around you..

use your good dishes...
Almost everyone has good dishes, that they got for their wedding present..or whatever. At the very least use glass, instead of plastic!!.. also, if possible (maybe after the kids have gone to bed) have a candle-lit dinner with your husband...or if you're singe (sorry, that sounds mean).. turn off the lights *Most of them* light the candles and have some ice cream..or something..

Anyway.. There are some simple things that you can do, to make yourself feel better! and they really aren't all that expensive or hard.. :)

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

New Year.. Random thoughts

I'm still finding it had to believe that it's almost a new year.. I keep telling myself that I MUST be getting older if I'm finding myself saying that 'This year has gone by fast', or 'That seems like just yesterday'.. Hah..
Anyway. Last year I decided to make a list of BIG things that happened in the year of 2010, so that I could look back, and remember all the things that had happened. (I like making lists, and it's alot more comforting and a lot less stressful, than trying to remember it all by myself..) well, I have a pretty long list. Some things on it, would look silly to others, because my idea of 'Big Things' is a tad bit different from others.. I'm still trying to decide If I'm going to post a list of the 'Big Things', but I am sure of one thing I can tell you..
2010 has been a Roller-coaster of a year. I guess to some extent everyone's year can be a roller-coaster, but right off the top of my head, this is the hardest year I can remember (I know, that isn't saying much, I'm only 16) but this year Lots has happened, and a lot of it, though I'm sure some might have been a blessing in disguise, was VERY hard for me to handle, actually I don't think I could truthfully say that it's all past tense, I'm still struggling with a lot of what has happened. I keep hoping that with a new year, things will change, but the more I think about it, and the more I allow myself to be honest with myself, the more I realize that turning the calendar, or welcoming a new year isn't going to change much, except for our earth being a year older or me breaking the record of how long I've lived- and whatever else you can think of.. But when it really comes down to it, it doesn't matter if it's a new hour, week, month, year. The change only happens when I choose to welcome it. New year or not.
Many of us make 'New year resolutions' but if we're honest with ourselves, we probably neglected them by February. No matter how small the resolution like: Losing weight, quit biting nails, holding our tongue, whatever it may be.. very few of us are able to say that we actually went through with it. Most of the time it really doesn't even mean that we're flaky or unfaithful people. we just allow ourselves to get distracted, or we shift our focus. I really can't say that I'm any better. Not because I forget about my new years resolutions..But because I don't like being disappointed in myself, (or anyone else for that matter) and I set my standards HIGH for myself, so because I'm afraid I'll let myself down, I decided LONG ago, not to make new years resolutions at all. I still try to set up goals for myself, and make good personal habits. But rather than setting them up for a whole year..(I'm easily stressed) I chose to make MONTHLY goals, I'm sure we can all think of 12 things we'd like to change about ourselves, our lives or whatever else, but instead of doing that, I alot myself 2 months to complete each goal.. I've heard it said that it takes 6 weeks to develop a new habit, set up a new routine, or whatever else. But it's good to be on the safe side and give yourself more time. For example, I've been stuck on ONE personal goal for myself, sense June! I'm waaaaay behind. But really when you think about it (and I can't believe I'm saying this) we don't necessarily need to put our focus on how LONG or how LITTLE time it's taken us to do something, rather doing it. Because it actually takes more loyalty to stick with something and get it done, over a long period of time, than it does to finish it in no time, and be done with it!.. Besides, it will mean more to us, when we've stuck with something longer and completed it, than if we rushed through it to get it done with.. being able to say that we finished an assignment is one thing, being able to say that we REALLY got it done no matter how long it took, is another. It's better to have taken a whole year doing one thing, than to be so concerned with how long it took you, and just make it appear that you got it done, to make yourself feel better. Ugh, I'm rambling again...sorry! (Most of this is me trying to convince myself) I don't even really know where I'm going with this. So I'll just say one last thing and get this done with! (Stop dancing for joy.. you don't HAVE to read this!)
No matter how many things we can think of about ourselves that have room for improvement, or how many things about our lives we'd like to change, the MOST important thing that we need to be sure to do.. is set up a quiet time with Jesus.. EVERY morning, afternoon, evening... I mean, if you want to tackle other things, be my guest. But everything is easier to handle when you have a good foundation. And your foundation will always be sounder, when you use the right stuff to build it. I build my foundation with Jesus Christ. Because he's the ONLY thing that is impossible to shake, move, break or damage. He's the ONLY reason that I've made it through this year..he's the only thing that has armed me with what was essential to deal with everything this year has thrown at me. Make being more like him your personal goal every month.. every hour, every day! every week. This year alone I have filled a WHOLE notebook with letters to God. Every time that I was feeling weak and totally helpless, like I should have been finished with everything that I wanted to be done with.. every time I realized that I COULDN'T be done with any of those things on my own. I'd write him a letter, I'd go out to my car, late at night, wit my froggy flashlight.. a blanket, and write him, tell him everything.. all my thoughts, fears, failures..everything! and I can't even tell you how much it's helped..having him to pour my soul out to, him to cry to.. I also couldn't tell you how many times I cried myself to sleep, holding that notebook and pencil, in my cold car, at the wee hours of the night. Because when I talk to him and tell him everything, and give it all to him, I feel a peace sweep over me, that even my insomnia couldn't beat..Every-time I feel hopeless and lost and I find myself willing to let go of my pride for long enough to write him a letter.. I fall asleep in his loving arms.. and the peace, love and comfort I feel in that moment, Means so much MORE to me, than any sense of accomplishment I could ever feel from completing a goal, or making resolutions I'd never be able to keep on my own. So as we approach this new year, I pray that your new years resolutions, your personal goals, will find room, at the top of the list for Jesus and a quiet time with him. Because it makes a WORLD of difference, it makes whatever you're faced with, a thousand times easier. I'm not a great person on my own, I can't do anything by myself.. I don't have it all-together, no matter how many times I try to tell myself I do. But when I have Jesus, none of that matters, because he doesn't expect me to be 'Little Miss perfect', that's not to say that I don't try to be (as you all know, especially if you're in Sunday School with me, or A.W.A.N.A) but it does mean that when I fail miserably, I have someone to fall into. Someone who knew all along that this would happen, and He was ready to catch me.. So Happy New year! Make Jesus one of your resolutions.. Make time for him. Then no matter what this next year brings. You'll have something to hold on to.
don't be afraid to humble yourself before him. Don't be afraid to get on your knees and pray. Or cry out to him. He loves you, and he'll accept your ashes and dirt.. from all your failed attempts at earning the world's approval, and he'll turn them into Riches.. a small reflection of his kingdom and all the glory there in..

Friday, December 17, 2010

What would you do?

Do you want to meet the monster, that's made me who I am today?

Do you want to shake his hand?

or look at this face?

Do you want to tell him your name, learn his, do you want to get to know him, and be his friend?

or would you walk away?

spit in his face?

take my by the hand, and lead me out of this place?

Because I know that you hate him, though you've never met,

from the stories that I've told. you've just decided that he is a terrible man...

you tell me he's a jerk. and not worth all this hurt, you tell me he's a fake, and the most he deserves

is this heart of mine, that he took the liberty to break.

well that's sweet of you to say, And I love you for that. but it's not that simple, not as easy as that.

- I find myself unable to let him go,

- you just sit there and your bitterness grow. You hate him more, with each passing day.

well, it seems to me, that we both have something that we need to let slide, we both have some lessons to learn, we need to let go of our pride. We need to get this out in the open, there's no need to hide.

I hope, we can set all this aside, love each other, and get on with our lives. We can't let this drag us down forever, so we better learn to face this fast...Together.

Monday, December 6, 2010

My tear stained face, my blood-shot eyes.

Leaning against your chest. Letting it go again. Allowing myself to cry.

You've always been there, even when things were at their worst.

You were always there, when you were the last thing I deserved.

You were the string I was dangling from, the strength that pushed me,

gave me enough to get through. You are all I've ever needed. It's always been you.

Shivering, still scared trying to hold on to you, I know it's not good to let go because you've

been all I had to hope for. You are all that's kept me going, all and more.

Still, I find a reason to frown, a reason to find a reason, to be down.

Why can't I just be happy? Thinking of our love? Why can't I just be happy, thinking of, what you mean to me.

Why can't I focus on the happiness? Instead of all this pain, why can't I find some sunshine, in the midst of the rain. I want to be happy. I want to focus on you, and forget, let them fade, all these skies of blue. I just want to forget it all, all of it, but you. Because you're all I need. You and me. You're my everything.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I am everything you despise,
yet you're everything in which my hope lies, you're the reason, I like awake..and cry.
you're the reason for my parent's and Mine's dissension, you're the reason, for all this tension. you're the reason, I'm never at peace, you're the reason...I'm incomplete. You've stolen, an important part... of me...


My heart is stopped it's beating, the moment you said we were through.
My eyes are filled with tears...crashing down on me, are all my fears...Because you said we were through..
I can't believe I let you mess this up.
I can't believe I have to be without you.
Now I'm trying to go to sleep, but all the monster...s under the bed, they're haunting me. and the tree branches out the windows, they're dancing on the wall, making scary shadows, I wish I had you here with me, I wish I could just believe again. But not today, no, not ever.. Because we're over.


I'd run to you, jump in your arms, and you'd swing me around make eye
contact, be so happy, for the love we found....we'd smile at each other
from across the room, (when we could stand to be that far apart) and
we'd put our hands over over our heart, to keep it, from skipping a
beat, when we, saw each other on the st...reet. We'd laugh together, and
you'd sweep me off my feet.

jump off the train, hop on a plane, 5 minutes after leaving, because being apart from you, is just too much.

because my dear, we're so madly in love... Oh, so madly in love!


...When you left, I stayed.
When you broke my heart, I prayed.
know, it's crazy, maybe even odd, but after you left me, all I had left
was God. So I sit here in this silence, for the thousandth time, I try forget you, but to be's impossible, because you never
even left my mind.


Saturday, November 13, 2010


Everyone has their own idea, of what perfect is,

what the most important things in life are... if you ask me, what the most important thing in life is, I will, in a heartbeat, tell you that in my opinion it is; TIME!

While others may think that it's money- or – family- love- trust- faith- ...the list goes differs with each person

Money- can be taken away, replaced, lost, earned.. it isn't permanent.

Love- can be damaged.

Trust- can be lost.

Faith- can be jaded...

Family- can pass away.

See, the way I look at it, TIME is kinda like the Mayor of our lives, here on earth. It has a LOT of say, in what goes on in our lives,.

with time:

Our families, can pass away, or grow...

Trust, can be lost..or gained

Faith, can be tested one day, strengthened the next...

Money, we can earn it, or go bankrupt.

Love, can be tattered, hears shattered.

but time, time is permanent, it's final. If you spend time with someone, you can't get upset with them, be an Indian giver, and take it back. Once you've spent time with someone, given it' away, that's that.

Time is something we have to manage on our own. We are responsible for how we do and don't manage our time. Time is something you have to live with, and at times, without. We have to learn to spend it w

isely, unlike money, it can't be earned back, after we spend our paycheck. At the same time, we can't chose NOT to spend it, time is all around us, in everything we do... Then, once we have spent it, it's gone, forever. We can't take back what we said, or did..

So, if I find someone in life, who is willing to spend their precious time with me, with no regrets, no wishes, to take it all back. I will consider myself one of the luckiest girls in the world, because it is then, that I have found myself with something permanent, something that no matter how hard I try, I can't escape from.

Something that's everything to me. Time...

Friday, November 12, 2010


Found some life, among the dead trees.

Found some yellow, among the red leaves.

(Some light, among this death).

I found you, when hope was all that I had left.

I found you, when I was sure there was nothing left for me, in this life.

You helped me find my smile- when I was tattered.

You helped me love again though my heart was shattered.


Found your arms, when everyone else had turned me away.

Found your vibrant colors, among all these shades of grey.

Found your loving hand to hold.

Found your shelter from the cold fall weather.

Found that you always have a way of making me feel, so much better.

Found that with you I'd gladly grow old.


Found that I do need you.

Found out, that I'm in love, with all you do.

Found out, even if I had the chance, I wouldn't change anything about you.

Found out, in you, I'll place my trust,

Found out, I love you.


Found some flowers, gratefully holding on, as long as they could manage.

And after much thought, I decided it they must be, they found something that you've shown me.

With you, I've found life.


But best of all, I am found.

You found me- and now that I've taken a few steps back, I can see...

that all along, while I've been finding you, I've been finding myself too.

And I'd love nothing more, than for us to be found together: both of us,

totally sure, holding on like the flowers,

cherishing, these last precious hours, in each others company...

Happily Found.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

New Cubbie!...Part Two!

Wow, what a great reminder that GOD is the one in control, Not me...
Today, I was upset that it was Wednesday, and that I would have to prepare a lesson to teach, because I have a lot on my plate. Well, the time came...people started to arrive. in walks that sweet little boy, who calls the color brown 'Chocolate': little Maddox. He has so stolen a piece of my heart, He's so incredibly precious. I had a fantastic time with him tonight. And he somehow managed to temporarily push my troubles to the back of my mind... Thank you Jesus, for knowing better, and giving me a precious little cubbie tonight... a little cubbie, that made me laugh, and I made him, in return, asked me questions about the lesson (made me happy, knowing he was listening).. and was very interactive, during game time.. I am so blessed. I am learning just as much, if not more, than I'm teaching. He's teaching me how to find pleasure in small things, how to make games out of everything... (we ran around the classroom and called out colors, and we counted, how many things were the color Yellow, Red, Blue.. Etc.) He's teaching me to laugh, I'm so happy, to have Him, in my class.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Now I'm gone...

Help, please help me, it seems as though, I've come down, with some fatal disease, you know just how this happened, I'd go so far, as to say it's your fault. And strangely enough, you're also the cure, I know, it's hard to believe, even after much thought. So rush me to the doctor, explain the whole thing, please tell the truth, and don't refrain, from the ugly ending, when I kill over and die, thanks to you, because you were never by my side.
Just shut up, and drive, as fast as you can, you'll be late to my funeral, you stupid man. you should have asked for directions, but NO, that would be the death of you. So whatever, just do what you always do. You'll find your way eventually. Maybe you'll make it in time, to hear someone's sad story, about how I'm gone, and they'll miss me.... then you'll be convicted, you'll start to cry, wish you had treated me better, oh WHY? did I have to die? why did you have to kill me?
well it's too late, no one cares.
Now rise, get up from your chair- clear your throat, you wouldn't want them to know, that you had choked up, that would ruin your image, take away that smug look, that makes you look so tough... get up there, lie and tell them, that since I've been gone, things have been rough. say a few words, about my favorite color and my favorite food, tell them I was rarely ever rude. Things everyone already knows, who are you fooling? why are you putting on this pathetic show? don't pretend you know me, don't act like you studied me, like we were so close, I tried to be, but we never came close, to ever making it, we could never agree. You just seized the opportunity to take advantage of me.
and I let you, oh Gahhh, I let you... This was all my fault, I'm sorry for blaming you, I didn't give it much thought. But it doesn't matter after-all, because now, I'm gone.

I'll prop up my head...consider crying, but laugh instead.
I'll smile for today, cause that's all I can do, to make things better, between me and you.
I'll tell everyone things are just fine, I'll wait to be sad, when I'm alone at midnight....
I've got this, well at least I'll pretend like I do, because the last thing I want, is to worry you!!

Monday, November 1, 2010

My Testimony, and Baptism.

I'm sure many of you are confused about me getting baptized, because if you've known me for awhile, you know that a couple years ago, I was baptized, in the Fraser's creek, along with some of my closest buddies. A lot has happened since that day, and hopefully telling you about it, will clear up some of the confusion. When I was baptized, a long time ago, I had mis-understood what exactly salvation was, I was under the impression, that I was saved, because I had grown up going to church, with my parents, and knowing several bible stories.

As I got older, I started to understand a little more about the Bible, and about what salvation was. I began to question if I really was saved or not. It was about that time, that my dad started to read a chapter of Revelation at meal-time everyday. That made me very scared of 'The End Times'. So I started to talk to my mom, and Jeff about the doubts I was having, my mom then went to Debbie Allen who provided me with some tracks and books to read. It really helped me to understand a little more about what salvation was, and why I needed it, it also helped talking with good, strong Christians in my life having them there with me, to pray with me, and help me through this time of doubt. So I finally came to the conclusion that I wasn't saved, and I needed to be...And fast, because Jesus could come at any time, and I wanted to be ready- But at the same time... I didn't want me to struggle with the same doubts that I was having at that moment, all over again.
I wanted to be saved, with someone at my side. So that if there was ever any doubts, I could go to that person, and they could help to re-assure me, that I had in-fact said the prayer, and I was a Christian, because if there is one thing I know about the devil, it's that he uses doubt as a way to get to me. And my salvation, and who I am in Christ, is something that I want to be VERY sure about. So I had come to this conclusion on a Tuesday. I waited till later on in the day, and I called Pastor Bill. I asked him if he was going to be at AWANA the next day, and if we could find some time to talk, because I needed his help with something. So we both agreed on a time, and then got off the phone.

The next night at AWANA, on October 17th 2007 I was SO anxious, and nervous... I was on edge the whole night, finally the time came, Pastor Bill, pulled me aside, into what we call now 'The Old Sanctuary'… And we sat down together on the right side, third row from the back, He was on the right, and I on the left. ( I told you, I didn't want there to be any doubts, I made sure I memorized every detail) we sat there for awhile, and talked together about what had been going on, and He agreed with me, that if I was having doubts, it was best to put an end to them, and get saved. So, we talked a little bit more, then He asked me if I was ready to say the prayer.

We both bowed our heads, and closed our eyes, after sitting there for a second, I realized what was going on, jerking my head up, and opening my eyes, I said “Oh, wait, you wanted ME to say the prayer?”... He explained to me how I needed to do this myself. Because it would help me to be sure. And it would give me some power, over the devil, and the doubts he was throwing at me. So it was there, on that third pew from the back, on the right, October 17th 2007 somewhere around 6:30 P.M. That I prayed and accepted Jesus Christ as my savior. And every ounce of restlessness I had felt from earlier on in that evening, was gone.

I cried, and cried happy tears, because my heart was so filled with joy, and assurance, of my salvation.
And let me tell you, from that day, I haven't had a single doubt, of whether I was saved, or not. And every time I felt that Satan and his doubt was trying to creep back into my life, I would visit my pew and talk with Jesus. That pew was one of my 'Secret Places' where I met with God.
I'd also like to say that I'm VERY grateful for my church family, who has made an amazing impact in my life, and has helped me so much in my spiritual journey. And I'd like to say thank you to my parents, who have brought me to church, almost every Sunday of my life, without them, I wouldn't be where I am today. Thank you so much- I am very blessed to have you all!

So that Sunday, Pastor asked me, if I wanted to share my testimony, to the church, and I used my nursery as an excuse to get out of it, because again, If you know me fairly well, you know that I'm really not a huge fan of public speaking,
well, after that day, when I told him tat I'd rather not share my testimony, I've kicked myself. Not too long ago, Pastor said that he was putting together a baptism, and if anyone wanted to be baptized, to talk to him about it, after the service. All of a sudden, I thought to myself “i could use that as a way to share my testimony” because it seemed pretty selfish to let my stage- fright, get in the way of sharing what God has done for me.
So this Sunday, October 31st, I got baptized, and I couldn't be happier, that I shared my testimony. And as cold as it was, got baptized!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

New Cubbie!

I Had a new little Cubbie last night...He said some of the cutest things! I just thought I'd share with you.

We were coloring, and he said "Please pass the Chocolate"... I looked around the room, very confused. Then turned to him, "We don't have any chocolate boo??"... He got up from his chair, walked over to the tub with the markers, and picked up the brown one... looking very accomplished, He flashed it in my face saying "Yes, you do, see it's in mines hand!".... How cute! he calls brown Chocolate....

Well, this was my second time to have this little guy in cubbies, his first week he told me, that his name was 'Dingus'... Which seemed a little odd to me. After talking with some others in the church (Jill) I discovered that his name was 'Maddox'... Well, last night, in cubbies, we were talking about friends, and family. And I started to ask him, about his friends. I mentioned his Brother, who he came with, Brendan, and he said "No, he is my Aunt, not my friend..." (Precious!!!)

Anyways, I just thought that I'd share that! I love that little guy, He's adorable... :))

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

He thinks I'm beautiful.

You think I'm beautiful,
-when I've cried all my make-up away.
- when I'm having a bad hair day.
-when I was too lazy, to get ready...

and when I go on, and on, about girls in movies, their hair,
their smile,
their eyes,
you lean in, to whisper in my ear, that to you, I look just fine...

you don't think less of me, because I look less than a celebrity.
you say that you fell in love with me, fo rmy personality, my looks are just a bonus.

and that's enough to make this girl feel like a princess.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Excuse me...

Excuse me, for being jealous..

Excuse me, for the words I said, excuse me for all my sorry excuses, I guess this morning I should have just stayed in bed...

Excuse me, for not understanding, It's my self that I dread...This is no fault of yours, I'll take all the blame, just as long as you don't leave me.

Excuse me, for my ignorance, I never should have traded it, for my innocence.
Excuse me, for always feeling so alone, when it's so obvious, you've got me- You'd never leave me to do this on my own.
Excuse me, for trying to get your attention, when it's obvious, I've had it all along.

Excuse me, for still humming that same old song. I need to learn to let go.

Excuse me, for always wanting to be mentioned, wanting to be the center of attention, when it's obvious, I'm all you think about.

Excuse me, for this heart of mine, that seems to always be filled with doubt.
Excuse me, for whatever I'm all worked up about, sometimes I wish that I could just figure all this out.
Excuse me, Please... Just excuse me

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

This is not my first rodeo,
This isn't the first time I've fallen in love with someone who promised to be my romeo.
This isn't the first time I've had a hard time saying goodbye,
This isn't the first time I've had tears falling from my eyes, over something cliche' or something trite.
This isn't my first show, not the first time, I've had to be a big girl, and let go.
Yeah, you heard me,
This isn't my first show. I've been the main attraction of the freak show before, I've been fighting this battle, with empty hands, but now, I have a sword...Come back, I'll beat you down. If you think I'm kidding, give me a chance, and we'll find out. because
This isn't the first time, I've had to stick up for myself.

You seem to think that you hold the cards, you seem to think that you're in control. But I have some say in this. I'm the woman in this situation, you're no longer in charge.
I can make my own choices, and they don't have to involve you. I've hid this fact so long, I was afraid to admit it was true, but now I know your game, I've got some new tricks, they're no match for yours, but they'll provide a fair fight, if nothing else, a little more time.
You've been a huge part of me for so long. I had told my self, the better part.... but you were the reason that I chose not to be strong, because I learned to cope, I made you my source of false hope, then when you left, a piece of me did too. I fell to the ground. Not knowing what to do. Now I'm getting up, and I'm doing this without you, I'll show you I can be strong, I can rock your world too.
I'm shaking off the dust, and putting on my smile. No looking back, I'm moving on. I'm a new woman, no longer a child.
Let's hope this lasts, because I never want to feel the way you made me feel again....

When did we lose the right to feel?
the freedom to speak..?
the ability to heal?

What's happening to us? What have we done?
Why can't we learn to love? Why can't we do as we say, and learn to build each other up? Why can't we set our fighting aside? why can't we learn to stand brave and tall, instead of always trying to hide?
why can't we sit up strait, instead of always falling and why can't we learn to listen when you're calling?

why do we ignore you?
when was it that we learned to go around you?
When did we lose hold of all we once had? And when did it become so easy to avoid change, by simply being mad?

Monday, October 18, 2010

I'll hide my eyes from you, so you won't see the tears, I'll wear this half smile, so you won't have any reason, to fear, that I'm not alright- Because afterall, I'm supposed to carry you.

I'm a big girl. So, I'll carry this weight on my own...It's hard, but I've been given an enduring heart, I'll fight for this cause, till I've helped those around me to turn on all the lights, in their lives, Then Maybe I'll turn to you, and let you see these blod-shot eyes, just don't be disappointed when they're filled with tears, Because even the strongest of girls, can't do everything....And break down, and cry.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Our rights... Persecution.

Sadly, these days, those words seem to go together.

A lot of what we used to think of as no big deal, is being 'taken' right out from under us. We have 'lost' the 'right' to pray in schools, they're trying to take 'In God we trust' off our money, trying to come up with a new pledge of allegiance... And what have we done?? we complain about it! About how un-fair it is, how this shouldn't be happening, what have we done to deserve this??. But if you ask me, we're the one's to blame. It isn't so much a question of what we've done to deserve this, it's more of what we HAVEN'T done. Maybe if we hadn't taken advantage of all that we've been given, it wouldn't have come to this, we wouldn't be complaining about how our 'rights' are being 'taken' from us!, or at least instead of complaining, we'd be doing something to make a difference, change things.

And really if you think about it, nothing has been legitimately 'taken' away... we have every 'right' to keep praying in public places, every 'right' to trust God, and what better way, than with our money!! afterall, many of us refuse to even think of giving that up. Goodness forbid that we give away a couple pay checks, even when we know that next month, or week we would be able to earn it back, knowing that God has promised to take care of us, and our every need. When you are younger you really don't have any appreciation for money, you crumble it up and stick it in your pocket, share it with your friends, play with it in the dirt, maybe accidentally tear it, put it in our mouths, etc... Money is NOTHING of importance to children! and adults think to themselves “if only they knew the value of a dollar...” Well guess what? They have more of an understanding of it than you do!! money is just that, it's nothing when you compare it with Christ. We have started to worship money, and the false security it gives us. Especially with the way the economy is. We have all tightened our grip on our money a little bit. And I'm sure, Yes, even in the Church, if we asked for a show of hands, for how many people would clear out they're accounts, just last months' paycheck, or retirement funds... and just give it away to a charity of some sort, there wouldn't be many show of hands, if any at all. Money isn't the best thing for us to put our trust in, it's here one minute, and gone the next. There have been several different people who had lots of money, and not too long after that, it was gone, and they were bankrupt....

-Now back to our 'rights' we whine so much about them being 'taken' away from us, but ask yourselves, what have we done to fight for them? What have we done to deserve them?... Nothing!. How many articles in the newspaper have you read about a teacher being arrested for teaching that evolution is false? Or a kid praying aloud at school? Someone teaching the word of God in times square?. I've heard people say that they don't want to disobey the law! That shouldn't even worry us, that's just an excuse, quite frankly, first of all, it would kinda make me happy if I saw something in the news, about government officials getting upset over someone standing up and telling them to keep 'In God we trust' on our money! And second of all, which would you rather obey, God's law, or man's law??... The Bible says that we are to follow God's law, and if the world's law contradicts God's law we are STILL to follow God's law! We are always to hold God in higher esteem than man, we are ALWAYS to do that.

Now, I don't know about you, but I haven't heard anything in the news about someone being arrested under such charges. I think the martyrs and those suffering in prison, would be ashamed of us...(I know I am!) They gave they're lives, for the cause of Christ. And not to be vulgar or crude, but if you haven't read the stories, they didn't go in the most pleasant of ways, and it wasn't quickly either.They were arrested, and tortured for the very thing that we should be doing! Fighting for what is rightly ours, the right to pray, teach, read our Bibles, give medical aid to those who are sick, visit and encourage those in prison, hand out Bibles, feed the hungry! Etc. And if we go to prison for it, so be it!.

Another thing that I think our country has started to worship, is FOOD! We place soooo much of our thoughts on our next meal, so much of our money of fast food restaurants, so much of our time and effort is put into food. You know it's amazing to me, I've read the books 'Jesus Freaks' and 'Sister Freaks' -Books about Christian martyrs that gave up their lives for Christ. And these people up to the minute of their deaths, were thinking about Christ, the strength and joy he had given them, and his love, their love for him... they weren't thinking about money, or food, or a shower, a change of clothes. I'm sure they could have used some if not all of those things, but No, they were thinking about Christ. And his love that was so amazing, so divine that it was worth being tortured to death for.

Another thing I think is interesting, is that a lot of these christian martyrs hadn't been Christians all their lives, they didn't grow up in church, hearing the word of God, or in Sunday School, learning Bible stories. A lot of these martyrs were converts from different religions, they were once in charge of killing the very things they became; Christians. Many times the only thing they knew about Christ was that He loved sinners like them, and His love was so amazing, it was worth these people, who had the rest of their lives in front of them dying, singing 'Amazing grace'. That's all they knew, and that's enough for them. That's enough for them to live their lives doing the very thing that they watched someone else do. Die for Christ. How much more then should we be encouraged to fight for our 'rights' to Pray, and keep our pledge of allegiance, keep 'In GOD we trust' on our money, to fight for the sanctity of life... the list goes on!

“Many times your example is the picture others need, to be more committed”.

We are living in such an exciting, new, young generation... but at the same time, it's digressing with every passing day. We are growing less and less Christian, and more and more worldly. How sad is it, that we have more ways now than we've ever had to share the gospel, and yet we aren't taking advantage of that. We're too selfish to give our money, too busy to give our time, too scared to leave our comfort zones, too prideful to fight for our 'rights', too dependent on food to pray and fast,

we're even too ashamed to truly worship!! Yes! even in church, we're too busy thinking about what we need to get done when we get home, or the person next to us, passing notes, worrying about what the week will bring, catching some zz'sss... that we can't even quiet our hearts before God, and thank him for all He's done for us, for a short hour-to an hour and ½ . All it takes to move mountains is the faith of a mustard seed, the size of a crumb... How sad is it that we don't even have that? We can't even shake things up in the white house, we can't fight for our freedom. We would much rather place our trust in money, food, doctors, scientists..Etc. Well how about for once, we place our trust in God, and fight for what He's given us. While His gifts are free, we should be a good steward of them. So, let's start showing them what we Christians are made of! Let's fight for what we've been given, let's make a difference. Let's prove our worth. Let's be that example that those around us need!

-please don't throw tomatoes at me, I know that a lot of what I'm trying to say here, could have been said in a lot nicer way... I have some of my dad in me, straightforward and honest, bluntly so!. Just remember these things, though they are hard to swallow are true, and as always, they are said with much love!!! (though it's hard to tell at times...)

Monday, September 13, 2010

Advice in poem form...

get to know yourself, and learn who your up against,
where will you get, if you don't know your own weaknesses? and strengths! - knowing this can take you to far lengths...
what will you understand, if you don't make plans?
where will you go, if you've no direction..?
travel the narrow road- always use common sense-and the Good book as protection.
don't let anyone fool you.
always walk in the truth.
don't be looked down upon, because you are youth.
stay strong, live long
laugh hard, love without cause.
don't forget to take a moment every once and awhile to just pause.. keep your mind open, smile often.. don't let yourself get brokenhearted. share your feelings.
be understanding, not reprimanding.
give yourself some space, slow down, don't be so eager to chase everything.
give things time, never lie!!
be sincere- always be willing to lend an ear.
Treat them the way you'd like to be treated. And remember, everyone likes to be needed. All of God's commandments are meant to be heeded, so don't blow them off by saying "Who needs it??"...

Friday, September 10, 2010

Going Slow!

Okay, another word of advice concerning relationships... go slow! Especially when you're a teen. At our age things in our bodies and the world around us is changing, and moving FAST!. Not to mention our lives have only begun. We have all the time in the world to take it slow!... so don't worry about being in competition with your peers, and trying to move at the same speed they are. Everyone is different, and while some can get away with moving faster... you might not be able to. So remember to take it slow. Think through everything Before it's too late!.

Do what's best for your relationship. And remember no relationship is the same, because if you haven't figured out yet, we're all different. So what worked for someone else might not work for you. Or what boundaries you had on the last guy/girl... might not do the trick!

that's why I encouraged you to go through a list of boundaries with this person, from the beginning. So that you'll know who they are, and where you need to be ...

I'm sure if you talk to those who didn't, they'd tell you that they regret it and it has changed they're lives (not for the better!) . There's no guarantee that you'd be one of the one's that got off with just a warning. You might be one of the one's that ends up with a sob story, and a baby!...

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Setting Up Boundaries.. After you're Sure They're The One.

2Tim 2:15
Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.

As Christians it is our duty to Present ourselves in such a way that we need not be ashamed. And sating should be no different. We need to be sure that we can accurately handle the word of truth, we need not be ashamed and we can be approved by God in all we do. So one important thing to do, if after my last assignment you feel like you could live with this person, and they're interested in you too, you need to make boundaries to be sure that you don't go further than you should, and you don't compromise any of your purity in this relationship...

you can read my random thoughts on purity on either my blog -

or Facebook -

Anyways... once again you're going to need a notebook. And either call the person you like, talk through the Internet... or my favorite IN PERSON!!!! (I'm oldschool.)
you'll need to talk together and come to some agreements on boundaries and rules.. there are some REALLY easy one's like
Don't have sex.
Don't be alone in a room together for long periods of time.
Don't be at the house alone.
Don't take naps together.

There are others that might be harder for you to decide on, because they vary with people... God made us all different and what's wrong to me, might not be for you... maybe you don't even agree with that little list I gave you up there. I'm not going to say you're wrong or right... this is your list. You can put on it whatever you feel you need to. But as always refer back to the Bible. Christ needs to be at the center of every relationship.

And most importantly you need to STICK to these boundaries that you have both set up. Have people that will help to keep you accountable. (You can always ask your parents to help you with that, I'm sure they would even if you didn't ask. Because parents really do want what's best for us. And usually they don't want they're children to end up heartbroken and pregnant before adulthood.)
So anyways... have fun making your lists, pray often about this.. and keep little reminders everywhere. And if you find yourself trying to ger around these boundaries and slip your way out of them. It might be best for you not to be in a relationship at all. Or at least not now. .. when you're younger. Stay innocent, and pure, no boy or girl is worth losing that precious gift you've been given By God himself.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Before You Give Them Your Heart.

“Love isn't looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction.”

A lot of times when you first meet someone, and for some reason they catch your attention, you're automatically drawn in, and every bit of common sense you have flies out the window. You find yourself thinking about them almost all the time, they're smile, they're laugh, eyes, whatever else... You know what I'm talking about right? I'm not the only one? Good. Okay well, as the quote says up there love isn't just about looking at someone and acknowledging they're attractive features, it's deeper than that. If you have any intentions at all of liking someone, and giving them a piece of you, you need to get to know them first. And ask yourself If it's at all possible for you to be able to look in the same direction.
So here's a challenge for you, get up for a second and get a notebook, and two different colored pens or markers. You'll be one color, and they'll be another. With that special person in mind you're going to make 2 lists. Here we go! This first list we're going to make is going to be the BIG one, the more serious one... you're going to write down some big things about who you are. Things about your personality, your beliefs, personal things about yourself, and as you watch and observe this other person, you write down how they match up with you. Here's an example.
Me: I am a Christian
Him : He is a Christian.
So that would be something that we can agree, and look the same direction on. After you've thought of at least then things,

you can move on to the smaller list, this one is more for fun, to help you get to know you're 'crush' a little better.. Here, I'll show you again
Me: I love stars
Him: He does too!
And every once and awhile you'll run across things that you don't agree on.. Here.
Me: I don't like brownies
Him : He does!
But you have to ask yourself if it's something that you couldn't look past, like with me, I really don't mind if he likes brownies. I understand that we're all different, there are things that I like that he doesn't. But as long as it isn't something HUGE like religion, I can chose to be okay with us having differences, and more than that, I can learn to love and embrace them.
I would also suggest putting a star, check mark, bullet point.. etc, something beside the things that you don't think you could live with. And if out of 10 things you have a check, star, bullet point, beside over 4 I would say it might be best to try to move on, unless it's on the smaller list, and it's only little things like disagreeing on a favorite color, or whether short or long hair looks better. Another thing you might want to do, if you don't think I've given you enough homework already (over-achiever... ) you could make another list of
things you're looking for in a boyfriend/husband
things you could/ couldn't live without in a boyfriend/ husband
even a list of things you would like to do, (us girls just love daydreaming...) whether it's ice-skating, pic-nic in the fall, riding bikes on a sunny day, going to a concert... whatever. You need to know what you want, because spending a whole relationship trying to figure that out never goes over well.

And if you're in a position where that someone knows you like them, and they like you back, go over these lists with them. It takes two to make a relationship of any sort work. And honesty is one of the best policies to have. Don't feel discouraged because you've already put a star beside 3 things, and you feel like it could be 4 or 5 in the next minute, so you lie to yourself and to them, just to get that over with and convince yourself that you're perfect for each other. Because in the end, it really isn't about the lists at all, it's about you. And the other person.
Don't lie to yourself, or anyone else, to make them like you, or make you like them... in the end, your world will just fall apart, because everything you've known, had been a lie. That's no way to live. No relationship is worth that.

Don't pee your pants...

Hey guys I was just thinking today, how cool it would be, if I used my blog to share advice. I'm not like a genius or anything, and I'm sure a lot of you won't be all that amazed by my 'words of wisdom' but anything can be better than blogging about random things without a purpose... so over the next few days, weeks maybe months? I'm not sure, I'm going to be posting some advice about dating. Because at the moment, I'm in my first relationship, and I'm learning lots on the way, that I think should be shared, especially with teens... And just so you don't get all nervous, or worried on me, here are some lame photos of me... they might make you feel a little more comfortable around me. or they might scare you to death?? no idea. so anyways, Sit down,(don't want you to fall) make sure people aren't sleeping (you're laughter might just be extremely loud...) don't take a drink, not even a sip.. (I'd hate for you to choke) and most importantly... don't pee your pants!

Now that I've made things awkward, and it's almost impossible to be serious on this note, see other post for my first blog entry about dating advice!!!
Okay, one more, this is fun!!!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

A Story of A Man Who Reached Many. Thank God I Was One of Them

I have watched God move in such amazing ways these past few months and weeks, even more than I think I've witnessed in previous years, not to say that He hasn't been moving, but it seems like lately, He's been doing everything all at once. I have a very good friend, who not too long ago, was layed off. And for a pretty stupid reason, at the time, it puzzled me and him, He did a good job, and was liked by his co-workers. Then his un-employment checks stopped coming, he never got to see his son, he was having trouble with his siblings, doubts about his calling, his dad's health was bad... the list seemed to go on forever. But all the while He remained faithful, He came to church, prayed about the situation, was honest, displayed faith that God knew what he was doing, and used that as a witnessing tool to those around him. All the while, he was hoping to go to college to further his education, and eventually become a youth pastor. This seemed impossible.

He didn't have the money, because he was un-employed.

He didn't have a running car.

He had some problems with paperwork.

He had no Idea where he wanted to go.

He didn't even have his shots

Nothing seemed to be working... but He continued to pray “Lord, may your will be done.” And I'll confess. At times, when he prayed that I thought that, that was a lazy prayer. I thought it was an easier way of saying “Lord, do something great so that I won't have to do anything .” well... I was wrong. And what's happened sense then is living proof. a month or so later...

He got accepted into a good college.

His loan was approved.

He was given a car by a gracious, anonymous individual.

He got his physical, and shots. (free of charge.)

He figured out all of the insurance stuff.

He received $400.00 in gas money, from the sibling that he had been struggling with.

He's leaving early Friday morning... all because of the power of prayer, and his Faithfullness to God. Because he trusted God in what seemed like an impossible situation. God rewards praying with honesty, and asking that His will be done. All of those things that I listed above, that were worked out, happened in about the course of a week. How amazing is it, that we have a God, who will allow us sometimes to go through a rough patch, but then turns right around, and shows us how mighty He is, how powerful He is, and that He's still in control, and no matter, what's going on around us. His will, will be done.

Jesse, you will be missed, you have been such an amazing addition to our church, especially our youth. You have ministered in ways I can't even begin to explain... not even the three page letter (with two lines inside of one) you'll be getting tomorrow can begin to tell you how grateful I am to call you my big brother in Christ. I know you'll do well in your studies, and pursuing that dream you have, that calling from God. To be a youth minister. And if you do half as well, as you have with our youth, you'll be irreplaceable. I know that at times, we didn't do our best at showing our appreciation for you, and for that I'm sorry. Your reward is in heaven.

It pains me to see you go, but at the same time, it encourages me to know that you're getting to. I know that this has been a long road for you. And a painful one at that. But you're here, and you've been given the chance to do what you've been called to.

Don't forget hilltop.. or the difference you've made here. I know we'll never forget you

P.S. you're an awesome "assisant Sunday School Teacher"

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Breaking down my walls again... You're so good at breaking me, it should really be a sin.

All my efforts, building these walls,then you had to go and make them fall.
I thought I could trust you, this time, I thought maybe you'd be more considerate.
but there you go, crossing every single line, and I don't know why, I'm surprised.
you're tearing down, everything I so carefully set up,
taking down my walls of protection... why do I even attempt perfection?

and you act as if, none of this is your fault
as if you've done nothing at all.

how could you be so naive?? so easy with yourself, and so hard on me?
double standard must be your favorite game, either that, or playing me, but I guess in the end it's all the same.
you don't really care, as long as you get your way.

coming in and out, as you please
excusing any consideration, you ever had for my feelings.
letting go of any hesitation, diving into this you felt free.
you told yourself it always blows over, time wouldn't repeat its-self and tell the story again...
and you were right not another word was spoken,
and I'd never fight you, cause this isn't the first time My heart's been broken, not the first mark, you've left in my future, in my dreams, I bet you couldn't care less about me.

consider yourself lucky, cause I'm sure I could have found, somewhere in this small body of mine, enough strength, to make you feel sorry for all the times you've pushed me to the ground.
consider yourself lucky, that I hate myself just as much as you, or you might have to worry, about me arguing with you.
consider yourself lucky, that you crumbled my walls, and you'll find your way in, over and over again.
consider yourself lucky, you know just how to make what little confidence I have, cave in ... and of course, you've done it once again.
you got away with it, and you're planning your next offense.

building my walls again... but they'll never be as strong as they need to be, you'll always know the way in, you'll never need the key.

the joy of Giving...

Lately, I've been working on my car... (: cherry red 1991 Chevy Geo Metro :)
it's been my dream car, sense age 6, and I've been not so patiently waiting for the day that I'd get to work on it, and make it run again...
well, as of late, I've been doing just that, and it's been quite fun. Hard work, but very worth it. It makes me feel so accomplished to be under the hood, with the owner's manual, grease on my hands... and my hair in a messy pony-tail!
well, like every other project, this takes money, I had started with $200.00 and I was quite proud of that... I had earned every penny myself, cleaning houses, mowing, babysitting, yard work... etc.
but that was a couple months ago, and after buying some parts, people's birthday's... and treating people to stuff, paying for gas. I'm down to $70.00 to some that would seem like a lot of money, and usually, I would be one of those "some" but, knowing that I started out with much, much more than that, it seems like a 10 dollar bill to me. I thought that buying stuff for people was supposed to make you feel good, but I don't feel good at all.
Is this me being selfish? am I starting to love money too much? I'm confused... I don't like feeling the way I do, I know that the Lord loves a cheerful giver, and I want to be just that... but at the moment, I don't feel that I am.

Dear Jesus,
please help me to focus on giving to others, instead of the size of my wallet, please help me to have more faith in you! I know that if YOU gave me that money once, if it's your will, you'll give it all back, and maybe even more.
Lord, also, please help me to stop being so selfish, help me to think of other's needs above my own.
Help me with my car, if it's your will, help me to fix it up, and give me a sense of accomplishment when it's all done, knowing that I took part in it.
Lord, help me to be a good steward, of what you've blessed me with.
Help me Jesus, to not let Satan, use this as a way to get to me, and to trip me. Help me to do only things that are pleasing in your sight!
Thank you Jesus,
In all these things I pray (Lord, may they be in sincerity..)
-Amen :)

thanks for listening to me whine everybody.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Some random thoughts on Purity!

so a topic that's been on my mind a lot lately is sexual purity. I mean for the most part all of us have grown up hearing that sex before marriage is bad, and that we should never do that outside of that. And we tend to tell ourselves, “oh, I could never do that, I'm a good Christian person. I have Jesus in my heart and a purity ring on my finger.” but I'm sure a lot of girls and guys who have lost their purity, have said the same thing. So the questions that have been on my mind are
1.what is purity...?
2.what does the Bible have to say about it..? can I be sure, that I don't go too far..?

so Here's what I've come up with, with research, brain-power and help from some people I respect.

As I discovered when me and Jeff discussed this the other day...
purity and innocence are two different things, even though we usually put them together, just like we do discipline and punishment .. believe it or not, they are different, Here's how...
Innocence, is usually a “sheltered” kind of pure... like “oh, well she's home-schooled and hasn't been exposed to a lot of that stuff, so she doesn't know what it is.” being innocent, is really just being out of the loop. Not getting dirty jokes, or being exposed to perverted or vulgar things.

While purity, is living amongst those things, and still being able to say that you are pure at heart. We might still Understand a lot of the dirty jokes, we might know about the nasty movies and all the other media in this world, but it's about us, still choosing to be a “goodie two-shoes” in spite all of that. That's why a lot of times we are told in the Bible to be Pure, as opposed to innocent, because God knows that we are going to slip up sometimes. And he allows that to happen, He gave us free will, the power to make our own decisions, and since the fall of man, we know, that not all of the decisions we make in our lives will be perfect.

So being able to say that you are sexually pure, both physically and mentally, is quite the achievement. Because while most of us can say, we've never “done it” we can't say, that we've never looked at another man or woman, and thought things that we shouldn't have. That's where once again, being pure comes in handy. On either side. On the girls side, it might be things like … dressing modestly, so that they can prevent some of the lust that guys struggle with. Or on the guys side, purity is choosing not to think those things, or if you start to, stop yourself... change the subject, start thinking of other things.

well, I found several verses, but this was my favorite, because it said like EVERYTHING that I'm trying to say. And I've been reading the proverb of the day, so it was so great, to be reminded of what I read a couple days ago!
Proverbs 4:23-27
Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth And put devious speech far from you. Let your eyes look directly ahead And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you. Watch the path of your feet And all your ways will be established. Do not turn to the right nor to the left; Turn your foot from evil.
In other words. We need to be careful, to guard our hearts, we need to be cautious, about everything that goes in, because eventually what's on the inside will show to the outside. We don't need to look to the side, or behind us... God has all of that. We need to keep our eyes and our mind focused on our purpose. We need to remember that our bodies are temples of the Lord, and we don't need to mess with what He has designed. We need to stay pure, both physically and mentally. We need to keep our mind made up, that we will NOT have sex until marriage. We need to make that our focus... don't look to the side and say “oh, well no-one has to know, “ “it won't matter” “just this once” “it will all be the past before you know it.. “ BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!!!!!!! don't tell yourself that. EVER. It isn't true. No matter how many times you have sex with him, it won't make him love you any more, and no matter how many babies you have with him, it won't make him stay. Tell yourself that girls... remember all actions have consequences. whether it's a broken heart, or a baby, or a miscarriage (because you're too young) or even getting kicked out because you're parents are disappointed, and yes, even ruining... or fracturing your relationship with whoever baby it is, your parents, your friends... and your outlook on life, on yourself.

I think this was the hardest question for me to answer, I mean I've always told myself that I could NEVER do that, I'd be too scared, worried, upset with myself, nervous to do that. Not to mention I'd never be alone with a guy where that could happen... and all the other things I started telling myself. But Girls, here are some other things to think about.
1.not everything is your fault. It might not be that you want to have sex, it might be that he does, and he forces it upon you.
2.It might be that the things that we tell ourselves we'd never do, we are most susceptible to ... how many fears have you overcome? How many things have you done you never would have guessed you'd ever be doing? How many people have you befriended that you told yourself you'd never get along with?... there are few things at our age that we can be solid with.. and tell ourselves would NEVER happen, because truth is, at our age... we really don't know what we like and what we don't, things change about us and who we are... every day!! might find yourself in a situation, where things got out of hand, and you were too scared, or confused to know what to do.

That's why we are encouraged to take a VOW OF PURITY. And wear purity rings... not because it's going to wart off evil, and it will act as pepper spray and make them go away, or leave us alone. But because it's a reminder to us, that we are God's and he wants us to wait, till He decides it's time. A VOW, or a PLEDGE isn't meant to be taken lightly... once we put that ring on, or say that pledge, whatever it is you guys have done, that's it. We have just decided we aren't going to have sex till marriage PERIOD. That ring is there, so that whenever we are in a tough spot, we can look down and remember that we promised, it's kinda like our conscience, our little Jimminie cricket. Saying that we need to find some way to get out of that situation.
Now, I know that sometimes things don't go the way we plan, and boys are NO exception... really I understand that. I know a few ;) but even if plans change, our morals and beliefs shouldn't... if something starts to go sour, and the mood starts to change, GET OUT... too hard for you? You feel like your being rude? You aren't strong enough? You can't? What if he won't like you anymore? BULL. You can do it, believe me, it will be a lot easier to leave just as things are getting bad, than it will after well, you know... you are a princess, you are VERY valuable to God, if some boy is going to take from you what you've been given by God, he better be your husband, and he better treat you right.
Make a list, of things you will and will not do, and when your thinking about getting a boyfriend, discuss that list with that lucky guy!. or BETTER YET! Make him help you make the list, so you'll know where he stands too. And you know what, don't just make that list, STICK TO IT! … pray about it, and make sure what you've decided matches up with the Bible!
If one night He decides to go further than you, He and God have decided is right. DO SOMETHING! No Really... this is the fun part!! you get to do WHATEVER you need to, and once you tell people why, they won't think twice about it, and He'll be the bad guy!... isn't that great?... you have been given a spirit of COURAGE. Not meekness or fear, you have been given the right . (wemon's rights) the courage (from God) and the power (adrenaline) to do whatever it takes, to step out of this situation, with your big girl pants on, and a purity ring still there snug on your finger. And a smile that won't go away, no matter how hard anyone tries.
Doesn't that sound great?... that's because it is.
So really girls, don't wait till it's too late too decide what you'll do when you're faced with an ugly situation, and a boy suffering from too much hormones. Decide what you'll do today. And do it whenever (if) the time comes
if you've already suffered from a bad experience, or you've beaten the junk outta a boy for going to far. Please let me know, I'd love to be a shoulder to cry on. Or give you a high five for being one tough girl!
Don't let your life be another sob story about how things went too far, and he took some of you with him, when he left. Please!