Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Setting Up Boundaries.. After you're Sure They're The One.



2Tim 2:15
Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.

As Christians it is our duty to Present ourselves in such a way that we need not be ashamed. And sating should be no different. We need to be sure that we can accurately handle the word of truth, we need not be ashamed and we can be approved by God in all we do. So one important thing to do, if after my last assignment you feel like you could live with this person, and they're interested in you too, you need to make boundaries to be sure that you don't go further than you should, and you don't compromise any of your purity in this relationship...

you can read my random thoughts on purity on either my blog -
http://tammmarahh.blogspot.com/2010/07/some-random-thoughts-on-purity.html

or Facebook -
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=412552205806



Anyways... once again you're going to need a notebook. And either call the person you like, talk through the Internet... or my favorite IN PERSON!!!! (I'm oldschool.)
you'll need to talk together and come to some agreements on boundaries and rules.. there are some REALLY easy one's like
Don't have sex.
Don't be alone in a room together for long periods of time.
Don't be at the house alone.
Don't take naps together.

There are others that might be harder for you to decide on, because they vary with people... God made us all different and what's wrong to me, might not be for you... maybe you don't even agree with that little list I gave you up there. I'm not going to say you're wrong or right... this is your list. You can put on it whatever you feel you need to. But as always refer back to the Bible. Christ needs to be at the center of every relationship.



And most importantly you need to STICK to these boundaries that you have both set up. Have people that will help to keep you accountable. (You can always ask your parents to help you with that, I'm sure they would even if you didn't ask. Because parents really do want what's best for us. And usually they don't want they're children to end up heartbroken and pregnant before adulthood.)
So anyways... have fun making your lists, pray often about this.. and keep little reminders everywhere. And if you find yourself trying to ger around these boundaries and slip your way out of them. It might be best for you not to be in a relationship at all. Or at least not now. .. when you're younger. Stay innocent, and pure, no boy or girl is worth losing that precious gift you've been given By God himself.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Before You Give Them Your Heart.


“Love isn't looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction.”

A lot of times when you first meet someone, and for some reason they catch your attention, you're automatically drawn in, and every bit of common sense you have flies out the window. You find yourself thinking about them almost all the time, they're smile, they're laugh, eyes, whatever else... You know what I'm talking about right? I'm not the only one? Good. Okay well, as the quote says up there love isn't just about looking at someone and acknowledging they're attractive features, it's deeper than that. If you have any intentions at all of liking someone, and giving them a piece of you, you need to get to know them first. And ask yourself If it's at all possible for you to be able to look in the same direction.
So here's a challenge for you, get up for a second and get a notebook, and two different colored pens or markers. You'll be one color, and they'll be another. With that special person in mind you're going to make 2 lists. Here we go! This first list we're going to make is going to be the BIG one, the more serious one... you're going to write down some big things about who you are. Things about your personality, your beliefs, personal things about yourself, and as you watch and observe this other person, you write down how they match up with you. Here's an example.
Me: I am a Christian
Him : He is a Christian.
So that would be something that we can agree, and look the same direction on. After you've thought of at least then things,



you can move on to the smaller list, this one is more for fun, to help you get to know you're 'crush' a little better.. Here, I'll show you again
Me: I love stars
Him: He does too!
And every once and awhile you'll run across things that you don't agree on.. Here.
Me: I don't like brownies
Him : He does!
But you have to ask yourself if it's something that you couldn't look past, like with me, I really don't mind if he likes brownies. I understand that we're all different, there are things that I like that he doesn't. But as long as it isn't something HUGE like religion, I can chose to be okay with us having differences, and more than that, I can learn to love and embrace them.
I would also suggest putting a star, check mark, bullet point.. etc, something beside the things that you don't think you could live with. And if out of 10 things you have a check, star, bullet point, beside over 4 I would say it might be best to try to move on, unless it's on the smaller list, and it's only little things like disagreeing on a favorite color, or whether short or long hair looks better. Another thing you might want to do, if you don't think I've given you enough homework already (over-achiever... ) you could make another list of
things you're looking for in a boyfriend/husband
things you could/ couldn't live without in a boyfriend/ husband
even a list of things you would like to do, (us girls just love daydreaming...) whether it's ice-skating, pic-nic in the fall, riding bikes on a sunny day, going to a concert... whatever. You need to know what you want, because spending a whole relationship trying to figure that out never goes over well.



And if you're in a position where that someone knows you like them, and they like you back, go over these lists with them. It takes two to make a relationship of any sort work. And honesty is one of the best policies to have. Don't feel discouraged because you've already put a star beside 3 things, and you feel like it could be 4 or 5 in the next minute, so you lie to yourself and to them, just to get that over with and convince yourself that you're perfect for each other. Because in the end, it really isn't about the lists at all, it's about you. And the other person.
Don't lie to yourself, or anyone else, to make them like you, or make you like them... in the end, your world will just fall apart, because everything you've known, had been a lie. That's no way to live. No relationship is worth that.

Don't pee your pants...

Hey guys I was just thinking today, how cool it would be, if I used my blog to share advice. I'm not like a genius or anything, and I'm sure a lot of you won't be all that amazed by my 'words of wisdom' but anything can be better than blogging about random things without a purpose... so over the next few days, weeks maybe months? I'm not sure, I'm going to be posting some advice about dating. Because at the moment, I'm in my first relationship, and I'm learning lots on the way, that I think should be shared, especially with teens... And just so you don't get all nervous, or worried on me, here are some lame photos of me... they might make you feel a little more comfortable around me. or they might scare you to death?? no idea. so anyways, Sit down,(don't want you to fall) make sure people aren't sleeping (you're laughter might just be extremely loud...) don't take a drink, not even a sip.. (I'd hate for you to choke) and most importantly... don't pee your pants!




Now that I've made things awkward, and it's almost impossible to be serious on this note, see other post for my first blog entry about dating advice!!!
Okay, one more, this is fun!!!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

A Story of A Man Who Reached Many. Thank God I Was One of Them





I have watched God move in such amazing ways these past few months and weeks, even more than I think I've witnessed in previous years, not to say that He hasn't been moving, but it seems like lately, He's been doing everything all at once. I have a very good friend, who not too long ago, was layed off. And for a pretty stupid reason, at the time, it puzzled me and him, He did a good job, and was liked by his co-workers. Then his un-employment checks stopped coming, he never got to see his son, he was having trouble with his siblings, doubts about his calling, his dad's health was bad... the list seemed to go on forever. But all the while He remained faithful, He came to church, prayed about the situation, was honest, displayed faith that God knew what he was doing, and used that as a witnessing tool to those around him. All the while, he was hoping to go to college to further his education, and eventually become a youth pastor. This seemed impossible.



He didn't have the money, because he was un-employed.

He didn't have a running car.

He had some problems with paperwork.

He had no Idea where he wanted to go.

He didn't even have his shots

Nothing seemed to be working... but He continued to pray “Lord, may your will be done.” And I'll confess. At times, when he prayed that I thought that, that was a lazy prayer. I thought it was an easier way of saying “Lord, do something great so that I won't have to do anything .” well... I was wrong. And what's happened sense then is living proof. a month or so later...



He got accepted into a good college.

His loan was approved.

He was given a car by a gracious, anonymous individual.

He got his physical, and shots. (free of charge.)

He figured out all of the insurance stuff.

He received $400.00 in gas money, from the sibling that he had been struggling with.





He's leaving early Friday morning... all because of the power of prayer, and his Faithfullness to God. Because he trusted God in what seemed like an impossible situation. God rewards praying with honesty, and asking that His will be done. All of those things that I listed above, that were worked out, happened in about the course of a week. How amazing is it, that we have a God, who will allow us sometimes to go through a rough patch, but then turns right around, and shows us how mighty He is, how powerful He is, and that He's still in control, and no matter, what's going on around us. His will, will be done.



Jesse, you will be missed, you have been such an amazing addition to our church, especially our youth. You have ministered in ways I can't even begin to explain... not even the three page letter (with two lines inside of one) you'll be getting tomorrow can begin to tell you how grateful I am to call you my big brother in Christ. I know you'll do well in your studies, and pursuing that dream you have, that calling from God. To be a youth minister. And if you do half as well, as you have with our youth, you'll be irreplaceable. I know that at times, we didn't do our best at showing our appreciation for you, and for that I'm sorry. Your reward is in heaven.



It pains me to see you go, but at the same time, it encourages me to know that you're getting to. I know that this has been a long road for you. And a painful one at that. But you're here, and you've been given the chance to do what you've been called to.

Don't forget hilltop.. or the difference you've made here. I know we'll never forget you



P.S. you're an awesome "assisant Sunday School Teacher"



Saturday, August 21, 2010

Breaking down my walls again... You're so good at breaking me, it should really be a sin.



All my efforts, building these walls,then you had to go and make them fall.
I thought I could trust you, this time, I thought maybe you'd be more considerate.
but there you go, crossing every single line, and I don't know why, I'm surprised.
you're tearing down, everything I so carefully set up,
taking down my walls of protection... why do I even attempt perfection?

and you act as if, none of this is your fault
as if you've done nothing at all.

how could you be so naive?? so easy with yourself, and so hard on me?
double standard must be your favorite game, either that, or playing me, but I guess in the end it's all the same.
you don't really care, as long as you get your way.

coming in and out, as you please
excusing any consideration, you ever had for my feelings.
letting go of any hesitation, diving into this you felt free.
you told yourself it always blows over, time wouldn't repeat its-self and tell the story again...
and you were right not another word was spoken,
and I'd never fight you, cause this isn't the first time My heart's been broken, not the first mark, you've left in my future, in my dreams, I bet you couldn't care less about me.

consider yourself lucky, cause I'm sure I could have found, somewhere in this small body of mine, enough strength, to make you feel sorry for all the times you've pushed me to the ground.
consider yourself lucky, that I hate myself just as much as you, or you might have to worry, about me arguing with you.
consider yourself lucky, that you crumbled my walls, and you'll find your way in, over and over again.
consider yourself lucky, you know just how to make what little confidence I have, cave in ... and of course, you've done it once again.
you got away with it, and you're planning your next offense.

building my walls again... but they'll never be as strong as they need to be, you'll always know the way in, you'll never need the key.

the joy of Giving...


Lately, I've been working on my car... (: cherry red 1991 Chevy Geo Metro :)
it's been my dream car, sense age 6, and I've been not so patiently waiting for the day that I'd get to work on it, and make it run again...
well, as of late, I've been doing just that, and it's been quite fun. Hard work, but very worth it. It makes me feel so accomplished to be under the hood, with the owner's manual, grease on my hands... and my hair in a messy pony-tail!
well, like every other project, this takes money, I had started with $200.00 and I was quite proud of that... I had earned every penny myself, cleaning houses, mowing, babysitting, yard work... etc.
but that was a couple months ago, and after buying some parts, people's birthday's... and treating people to stuff, paying for gas. I'm down to $70.00 to some that would seem like a lot of money, and usually, I would be one of those "some" but, knowing that I started out with much, much more than that, it seems like a 10 dollar bill to me. I thought that buying stuff for people was supposed to make you feel good, but I don't feel good at all.
Is this me being selfish? am I starting to love money too much? I'm confused... I don't like feeling the way I do, I know that the Lord loves a cheerful giver, and I want to be just that... but at the moment, I don't feel that I am.

Dear Jesus,
please help me to focus on giving to others, instead of the size of my wallet, please help me to have more faith in you! I know that if YOU gave me that money once, if it's your will, you'll give it all back, and maybe even more.
Lord, also, please help me to stop being so selfish, help me to think of other's needs above my own.
Help me with my car, if it's your will, help me to fix it up, and give me a sense of accomplishment when it's all done, knowing that I took part in it.
Lord, help me to be a good steward, of what you've blessed me with.
Help me Jesus, to not let Satan, use this as a way to get to me, and to trip me. Help me to do only things that are pleasing in your sight!
Thank you Jesus,
In all these things I pray (Lord, may they be in sincerity..)
-Amen :)

thanks for listening to me whine everybody.