Thursday, July 19, 2012

Whats in a title..

For a couple weeks now, work has been insufferable. I absolutely dreaded working- on the days when they actually gave me hours. Many people whom I am close to, were advising me to quit. But that isn't the Tamara way! So I stuck it out. I did, however, on one if my days off, send a letter with my mom, for her to deliver on her lunch break. In that letter, through writing, I gained freedom. Freedom of speech. All of the feelings, worries un-voiced complaints.. Everything. Almost. I stuffed in there. With respect and maturity. It took several times of writing, re-writing, ripping & throwing away.. To get it right. Finally, when I thought I had a "winner"- I reluctantly handed it to my mom. All night, knowing I had to go I. There today & face them, I was tossing and turning..

And of course, my worries and restlessness- was all in vain, save the circles under my eyes when I awoke. (rewarding, right?)

Reagan, after she had finished what she was working on, and we were slow, knowing this was the perfect time, snagged the opportunity.

We sat outside with coffee. (sounds Bice until you factor in the heat!) and she addressed all my points in my letter. For the most part, I just listened.. I had said mist everything in my letter. It was her turn. She would ask for input, an I gave it.. Then, the best part. The solution!! She listened to my suggestions & made some of her own. And we reached an agreement.

Today was my first day in a new position. (drum roll, please)

I LOVED IT :)
I worked as a 'floor supervisor', register, dishes & did prep.
I felt so important, higher up on the totum- pole & helpful. I was able to relieve stress from the waitress- because I've been one, and I know how it gets. I was able to socialize some, still, working the register.. Which is always great. I helped behind the scenes with prep- which makes the cooks job a lot easier.
When it gets ridiculous- I'll help waitress. But for now.. I'm Learning a new position & loving every second if it! I made more money working 8 hours today, than I usually do in a week, on waitress pay. I love being able to do several positions. Makes me feel well-rounded. And it's job security!

All I've ever wanted.. Ever. In any aspect of life, is to be and feel appreciated. I believe I'm more-so on my way, in the workplace. Though it was un-charted waters, in a way. I felt comfortable- and Reagan said I was a huge help.

P.S. I got to use the deli slicer!!! :)

Thanks, Jesus!! You work in mighty ways. And to everyone who's listened to my complaining- thank you!

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Jesus loves them too!

There are many times when I find myself thinking negative thoughts. It's hard to know what to do with them sometimes. But I knew I had to do something. Though we're the only ones who know our thoughts- it isn't healthy to have negative ones. This can create division between you and another, change the way you see them. Sometimes, it even shows on the outside. By way of evil glares or the way you act towards them. Our thoughts can direct out actions and end up hurting others. That's powerful! I knew that something had to be done. Negative feelings towards others, though unspoken are in Godly.

I spoke with my mentor about it. She said that she struggles with this as well. I think if you're honest with yourself, you'll find that you do too!
That's part of why instating this. To help you face situations where you're thinking these thoughts.
It will be hard to catch yourself in the act of this. But once you've gotten to where you realize what's going on- you'll be able to take steps to counteract the negativity.

When you catch yourself:
First think of how Jesus loves them. And more than that. How He loves you as well. Realize that you're undeserving of this love- and you have no place to judge whether someone else is. We're all sinners saved by grace.
Then- think of who this person is to you. It could be your mom, friend, teacher.. Whoever. Find good things about them- focus in that rather than the bad.

So simple. So powerful. Live it! Share it! Be a blessing.

Say to yourself "Jesus loves them too"