Monday, June 23, 2014

Irreplaceable

                    


          People are eternal beings. We either spend an eternity in heaven, or hell.
So often we think once we are "done" with someone, we can simply "move on" from them or find someone else to replace them.
 
I have a problem with this thought.. it seems flawed to me. As I've said, we are eternal. So, why would we think just because we are "done" with a person, they cease to exist?
 
Obviously, we allowed them to have a part in our lives for one reason or another. Reasons can be causes of regret later on- but never completely forgotten or erased.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard woman tearfully express
 "I can't believe I was so stupid to think (blank)"
whether we blame ourselves or someone else- it takes a lot to bury thoughts or past experiences.
 
There will always be a piece of someone that's left behind. Sometimes small, but other-times very large. My grandma for example; left lasting memories and love when she passed. While an ex boyfriend may just leave a few lessons learned or items they never collected. Whether what's left behind is an item or wrinkle in our brain-
it will take more than making yourself think about something else or throwing things out to completely erase the impact left behind by people.
 
People can never be replaced- not by machines that are more efficient, or others who are "more fitting" to your personal needs.
 
Everyone serves one purpose or another. Everyone has something only they can offer.
No two people are the same. God has created us all unique beings.
 
So why are our first thoughts when we lose someone/something of how to replace it? what in our mind switches from being attached to an item so much we feel empty without it- to removing ourselves and seeking to find something else to "fill the void"
 
why can we not mourn the loss of one being without seeking another to make us happy again? we replace items when they start to act squirrely, instead of trying to fix them. we buy another fish before Suzy gets home to find that it died. We start talking to another guy not long after the first leaves us.
 
I'm not claiming to be innocent of this "crime" I've seen it in myself once before. I leaned on a friend entirely too much after a troubling time in my life and focused on them rather than healing.
The results from the crash of this relationship were just as devastating- because I then found myself dealing with not only the issue at hand, but the one I had hid from before.
 
I urge everyone to see people as eternal..
whether you believe they will be eternally in your life or not.
Just as you will be living with the trace they leave on you, they will carry a piece of you with them as well. Is the affect you've had on them worth carrying eternally?
 
think about it.
 

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Now that I'm pregnant, I can't seem to get enough of Brussels! Everyone gives me a crazy look when I say this. which I guess I can't really blame them for, they're not the most popular of vegetables. Still, I thought it would be fun to share my recipe! No worries, I'm not becoming a food blogger- just want to represent these amazing veggies! I have a newfound respect for them and hopefully you will too after trying my recipe.

Pict sweet frozen Brussels (much better taste and color.. I think they're fresher than canned)
(To taste)
Butter
Salt
Pepper
Lemon
Onion, chopped

I add as many Brussels as I will need to a pot- cover them about half way with water, put on a lid and while I cut the onion, let them simmer. I then add the chopped onions, butter, salt, pepper and a hint of lemon (to taste) and put the lid back on to cook awhile longer (really just until the onions are soft)

Brussels only take 3 minutes to cook- but you can let them simmer longer until they're the desired softness.
A little tip: poke them a few times each with a fork or toothpick before adding the butter and seasonings- this can make even the core taste better (which is usually what turns people off to them.. It tends to be a little bitter)
Also, if you do go with a canned option, I would pour the contents of the can into a colander and rinse until the juices from the can are removed.


Child care- emphasis on the caring

I absolutely adore children, I always have. My mother has jokingly told me on more than one occasion that I "get along much better with little people than those of  (my) own age" I'm not sure if that was meant to be sarcastic or rude, but I've always taken it as a compliment. I was devastated when my "career" at Forrester Davis came to a close. I still think back fondly of my days there, wishing they could be again..
However, the memories and thoughts aren't all pleasant. There are many things I feel as if I've been sworn to secrecy about. I saw much brokenness in children so small- and felt it as deeply as they did. I was blessed to be brought up in a home where church was just part of the routine, and my parents always found a way to work out their problems. I have no idea what a divorce would be like, the affects of not knowing your father or having parents with drug problems.. And after the hurt I've witnessed, I have no desire to know from personal experience.
Still, I've seen it.. And I hate it. It's something I can't erase. I pray for my little Forrester Davis kids, though I haven't seen most in months.. I ask God to protect them and wrap them in His love.. I beg that they will feel that love, knowing for some it's the only real love they will feel.
Children are honest and candid. There are few successful ways to mold them into the perfect being you want them to be, something will always slip out- I was often the witness of this. And I would choke nearly every time. It takes a sensitive person to benefit a child in a daycare/teacher position- but it doesn't do the sensitive person much good. By listening to a little ones stories about mommy or daddy you're taking in their pain, as if it were your own. Sometimes, even wishing it were.. No 4 or 5 year old should ever feel the way I've heard expressed. Sure, writing a case note about the problems we learned of at home got old after awhile and you almost wished the stories would stop- but, that wasn't what was really getting old.
What is, is this: children being forced to deal with adult problems. Why? Because the adults in their life are too foolish to deal with them themselves. No child should witness abuse and feel obligated to report it. No child should worry whether their parents love each other, will be able to pay the bills, if there will be food on the table.. I often wonder WHY would God allow this person to get pregnant? These kids don't deserve to be mistreated, neglected, put down or scared. No one does.

If anything, hearing these stories and getting a better idea of the home-life for many explained a LOT about their behavior. Of course they were violent towards peers, they witnessed violence at home and thought that was the only way to deal with problems. Of course they acted out, that's the only time they received attention at home. Of course they were shy and quiet, they were yelled at when they spoke at home..
These children taught me to look inside everyone. There is always more than meets the eye. Everyone has a reason for what they do- you just might not know it. People have stories, pasts, fears.. And they act on them. We are quick to label or judge, it's easier than trying to understand.

Everyone has been hurt by something or someone- and it can make a dramatic difference in how you relate to others or handle a situation. That's another lesson these kids taught me. To give second chances and try to find something good in everyone. Though ___ was treated poorly at home, _____ showed me all the trust and love in the world. _____ found something in me, an average person that was worthy of their respect, attention and friendship.
We often retreat inside ourselves when we are hurt or confused- but as these children reminded me, it doesn't do any good.. Only hurt. We need friends. It's easy to shy away from them after you've been hurt- but with the right friends, not only will you find a safe place to be you- you can find healing.

I pledged to always be a safe place to those kids. I hated filling out paperwork when I heard something from them about home- but I knew they needed to get it out, so I listened for as long as they needed too. I found opportunities to share with them the love Jesus had for them- a love that would never disappoint, hurt, lie or cease. I took every opportunity I could to teach them something- as my grandma did with me. Little minds are very impressionable.. And I knew the impressions they received   at home were less-than-impressive.

Every day I learned something new. Whether from these kids, my coworkers, my Jesus or sometimes even myself. Daycare is never easy- and with the situation kids are in today, it will continue to get worse.. But I'll never loose sight of what the kids taught me or regret the experience. I believe, with the perspective I have now, I can be a better mom- if anything, I have taken many notes of what NOT to do!