Child care- emphasis on the caring
I absolutely adore children, I always have. My mother has jokingly told me on more than one occasion that I "get along much better with little people than those of (my) own age" I'm not sure if that was meant to be sarcastic or rude, but I've always taken it as a compliment. I was devastated when my "career" at Forrester Davis came to a close. I still think back fondly of my days there, wishing they could be again..
However, the memories and thoughts aren't all pleasant. There are many things I feel as if I've been sworn to secrecy about. I saw much brokenness in children so small- and felt it as deeply as they did. I was blessed to be brought up in a home where church was just part of the routine, and my parents always found a way to work out their problems. I have no idea what a divorce would be like, the affects of not knowing your father or having parents with drug problems.. And after the hurt I've witnessed, I have no desire to know from personal experience.
Still, I've seen it.. And I hate it. It's something I can't erase. I pray for my little Forrester Davis kids, though I haven't seen most in months.. I ask God to protect them and wrap them in His love.. I beg that they will feel that love, knowing for some it's the only real love they will feel.
Children are honest and candid. There are few successful ways to mold them into the perfect being you want them to be, something will always slip out- I was often the witness of this. And I would choke nearly every time. It takes a sensitive person to benefit a child in a daycare/teacher position- but it doesn't do the sensitive person much good. By listening to a little ones stories about mommy or daddy you're taking in their pain, as if it were your own. Sometimes, even wishing it were.. No 4 or 5 year old should ever feel the way I've heard expressed. Sure, writing a case note about the problems we learned of at home got old after awhile and you almost wished the stories would stop- but, that wasn't what was really getting old.
What is, is this: children being forced to deal with adult problems. Why? Because the adults in their life are too foolish to deal with them themselves. No child should witness abuse and feel obligated to report it. No child should worry whether their parents love each other, will be able to pay the bills, if there will be food on the table.. I often wonder WHY would God allow this person to get pregnant? These kids don't deserve to be mistreated, neglected, put down or scared. No one does.
If anything, hearing these stories and getting a better idea of the home-life for many explained a LOT about their behavior. Of course they were violent towards peers, they witnessed violence at home and thought that was the only way to deal with problems. Of course they acted out, that's the only time they received attention at home. Of course they were shy and quiet, they were yelled at when they spoke at home..
These children taught me to look inside everyone. There is always more than meets the eye. Everyone has a reason for what they do- you just might not know it. People have stories, pasts, fears.. And they act on them. We are quick to label or judge, it's easier than trying to understand.
Everyone has been hurt by something or someone- and it can make a dramatic difference in how you relate to others or handle a situation. That's another lesson these kids taught me. To give second chances and try to find something good in everyone. Though ___ was treated poorly at home, _____ showed me all the trust and love in the world. _____ found something in me, an average person that was worthy of their respect, attention and friendship.
We often retreat inside ourselves when we are hurt or confused- but as these children reminded me, it doesn't do any good.. Only hurt. We need friends. It's easy to shy away from them after you've been hurt- but with the right friends, not only will you find a safe place to be you- you can find healing.
I pledged to always be a safe place to those kids. I hated filling out paperwork when I heard something from them about home- but I knew they needed to get it out, so I listened for as long as they needed too. I found opportunities to share with them the love Jesus had for them- a love that would never disappoint, hurt, lie or cease. I took every opportunity I could to teach them something- as my grandma did with me. Little minds are very impressionable.. And I knew the impressions they received at home were less-than-impressive.
Every day I learned something new. Whether from these kids, my coworkers, my Jesus or sometimes even myself. Daycare is never easy- and with the situation kids are in today, it will continue to get worse.. But I'll never loose sight of what the kids taught me or regret the experience. I believe, with the perspective I have now, I can be a better mom- if anything, I have taken many notes of what NOT to do!
However, the memories and thoughts aren't all pleasant. There are many things I feel as if I've been sworn to secrecy about. I saw much brokenness in children so small- and felt it as deeply as they did. I was blessed to be brought up in a home where church was just part of the routine, and my parents always found a way to work out their problems. I have no idea what a divorce would be like, the affects of not knowing your father or having parents with drug problems.. And after the hurt I've witnessed, I have no desire to know from personal experience.
Still, I've seen it.. And I hate it. It's something I can't erase. I pray for my little Forrester Davis kids, though I haven't seen most in months.. I ask God to protect them and wrap them in His love.. I beg that they will feel that love, knowing for some it's the only real love they will feel.
Children are honest and candid. There are few successful ways to mold them into the perfect being you want them to be, something will always slip out- I was often the witness of this. And I would choke nearly every time. It takes a sensitive person to benefit a child in a daycare/teacher position- but it doesn't do the sensitive person much good. By listening to a little ones stories about mommy or daddy you're taking in their pain, as if it were your own. Sometimes, even wishing it were.. No 4 or 5 year old should ever feel the way I've heard expressed. Sure, writing a case note about the problems we learned of at home got old after awhile and you almost wished the stories would stop- but, that wasn't what was really getting old.
What is, is this: children being forced to deal with adult problems. Why? Because the adults in their life are too foolish to deal with them themselves. No child should witness abuse and feel obligated to report it. No child should worry whether their parents love each other, will be able to pay the bills, if there will be food on the table.. I often wonder WHY would God allow this person to get pregnant? These kids don't deserve to be mistreated, neglected, put down or scared. No one does.
If anything, hearing these stories and getting a better idea of the home-life for many explained a LOT about their behavior. Of course they were violent towards peers, they witnessed violence at home and thought that was the only way to deal with problems. Of course they acted out, that's the only time they received attention at home. Of course they were shy and quiet, they were yelled at when they spoke at home..
These children taught me to look inside everyone. There is always more than meets the eye. Everyone has a reason for what they do- you just might not know it. People have stories, pasts, fears.. And they act on them. We are quick to label or judge, it's easier than trying to understand.
Everyone has been hurt by something or someone- and it can make a dramatic difference in how you relate to others or handle a situation. That's another lesson these kids taught me. To give second chances and try to find something good in everyone. Though ___ was treated poorly at home, _____ showed me all the trust and love in the world. _____ found something in me, an average person that was worthy of their respect, attention and friendship.
We often retreat inside ourselves when we are hurt or confused- but as these children reminded me, it doesn't do any good.. Only hurt. We need friends. It's easy to shy away from them after you've been hurt- but with the right friends, not only will you find a safe place to be you- you can find healing.
I pledged to always be a safe place to those kids. I hated filling out paperwork when I heard something from them about home- but I knew they needed to get it out, so I listened for as long as they needed too. I found opportunities to share with them the love Jesus had for them- a love that would never disappoint, hurt, lie or cease. I took every opportunity I could to teach them something- as my grandma did with me. Little minds are very impressionable.. And I knew the impressions they received at home were less-than-impressive.
Every day I learned something new. Whether from these kids, my coworkers, my Jesus or sometimes even myself. Daycare is never easy- and with the situation kids are in today, it will continue to get worse.. But I'll never loose sight of what the kids taught me or regret the experience. I believe, with the perspective I have now, I can be a better mom- if anything, I have taken many notes of what NOT to do!
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