Who Am I?

I've been trying all this time..
just to figure out the answer to my biggest question "Who am I??.." and after years and years of change.. my question is still un-answered, still the same. I'm still back to where I started.. My floor filled with prayer-filled notebook pages.. empty tissue boxes and my wrists are so sore.. from the blades and, yes I know- I've tried this all before. I told myself "Just one more" and it will be better.. But I Failed-
The moment I had the chance to figure this all out. I bailed. Believed him, took his word as truth. When he told me that I had no use.. I had no worth. That I was stupid and a curse. I changed myself all to please him.. instead it just made things worse. Not only was he impossible to please but now I'm so far away from the real me, (whoever it is that she might be-) that I have no hopes of ever finding her again. Whoever she is.. I hope she has friends. She's going to need them- because she's in deep..again.